PSALMS |
 Oh what desperate attempts we make to pray. We fumble about in our minds; trying to bend tongues to thoughts whose translations defy us, desperately seeking the perfect word, the illuminating phrase, the miracle of inspiration that will connect us to Him.
Why is it so difficult?
Could it be, too much of our “wanting God” is based not on His personal desirability and loveliness, but on a belief in our own?
God I am worthy! Hear me! Answer me! Supply me!
I have often wondered about the love God had for David.
Why David?
The Bible is full of stronger warriors, greater kings and wiser men than this one.
Why does God ordain that a lamp should burn forever in David’s memory?
Why does David rate the one and only, “a man after my own heart” blessing?
Perhaps the answer lies not in the record of David’s life, but in the record of David’s heart.
Enter the world of Psalms.
You are suddenly third party to the intensely passionate and at times embarrassingly intimate cries of a lover. Here is fiery adoration, wrenching longing, jealous anger. Here is total abandonment of self, total elevation of the Loved One. David’s love for God was wild, emotional, all consuming.
Enraptured with God’s blazing beauty, David loved Him for Himself.
O Lord, my soul thirsts for you,
My flesh faints for you,
In this dry and weary land,
Where there is no water.
Uphold me with your right hand,
And in the shadow of your wings,
I will sing for joy.
Psalm 63
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A THING DEVOTED
“A Thing Devoted” is the story of a Christian family going through a divorce. However the subject of the play is not divorce, it is pain. Heart blistering, mind destroying, emotional pain. It bears witness to the  disintegration of people who believe, they believe, in God. A child cries out, “We already got baptized, we go to church, we tithe, we BELIEVE IN GOD…why should He make us suffer as if we were terrible sinners?”
This intimate story of one families’ journey through fire was a hard play for me to bring to the church. I am conscious that as Christians we like to see ourselves as having it “together”. We are saved, sanctified, justified, and to admit to black nights of despair, makes us seem traitors to the Christ who overcame the world for us. Yet the Bible is clear, suffering is a gift, designed to help us bridge the chasm that separates us from God. Dressed up in our pride, we may forever stand on one end of that bridge, prevented from crossing by the weight of our costume. We become our own golden calf, worshipping a falsely perfect image of ourselves, and holding it up as evidence that God loves us best.
A friend told me: “When I was a child I thought I was the only one in the whole world whose father beat her mother. We would go to church on Sundays and pretend that mom had just fallen or run into a door…everyone was happy to accept our explanations. She got a reputation for being clumsy and once that was established we became invisible. People ignored her bruises and our silences. My whole life became an exercise in survival, pretending that everything was OK, that I was fine and that bad things hadn’t really happened as long as I didn’t admit to them. As I look back, I think it would have helped me to know that even if I was invisible, I wasn’t alone.”
So I brought my play to the church, to my family, both those I know and those I do not. And on Sundays, as I wait for service to start, I pray for the invisible people dying in our pews. If you are one of them, reading this, I want you to know that you are not alone. I believe your suffering is as much meant for me as it is for you…to lead us together, to the throne of God. I beg you; call out to Jesus from the belly of your hell. He will come. He will save us.
“For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering.” Hebrews 2:10
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DREAMER
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“DREAMER” offers an aroma, a hint of fragrance, from the lives of 5 historical missionaries and 5 Biblical characters. If this presentation had been about missionaries only, it would have been interesting yet somewhat superficial. Great men and women are not born from the air. It is my belief that there is no great Christian, here or passed on, who did not discover himself in the Bible. The Bible is where we must find ourselves if we are ever to know who we really are. It is the wellspring of great faith, the source of great power, the hand of great comfort. It is where we go to find our way and where we live when we have found it.
As I read through the lives of the great historical missionaries, the most interesting thing to me was how completely ordinary these people were. Ordinary people with extraordinary faith. Centuries after they lived, we tend to see them as larger than life, impossibly holy, unshakable in their strength. We are told of the amazing things they did and we shrink inside and tell ourselves; “Not me. God didn’t make me like that. I could never do it”. Yet the truth is, they were for the most part, fragile people, stumbling, loosing their way, anxious about the future…. just like the rest of us. Weak, fearful, unpolished, and often “unsuitable”, they crossed the oceans, hacked their way through jungles, and climbed impossible mountains. Love for the lost kept them going. Faith in Jesus Christ to Save, was the manna that sustained them.
“Whoever loves his life loses it. And whoever hates his life in this world, will keep it for eternal life”. John 12:25
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PASSION...IT'S A DYING THING
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What does it mean to have a “passion” for something? If your “passion” is for money, sex, or sports you are an accepted member of civilized society. You will be encouraged and rewarded for whatever desperate measures you take in the pursuit of these. If however, your “passion” is for God, your exertions for Him, you are an embarrassment, a “fanatic” in the worst sense of the word.
I identify as one of those embarrassing people obsessed with God. Yet I confess that daily I fail in my love and passion for Him. On the perilous journey from sunrise to sunset and back again, I find I must constantly stop! stop! stop!…and ask myself; “for whom and what should my light shine brightest?” Do I proudly assert, “He is my LORD!” and then insist I have no time to meet with Him today? Do I pronounce Him my BELOVED, and then flush with shame when overheard singing to Him? Why is it that I desire to kneel to Him in prayer but will remain standing if someone is watching?
Is my “passion” for Him only as real, as my “passion” for chocolate?
It is the annoyance of my life that I must constantly remind myself, of how much He means to me.
While I often question my own level of passion for Him, I have never had to question His level of passion for me.
My God died for me.
Love doesn’t get any more passionate. Or any more real.
“Set me like a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm.
For love is as strong as death,
my jealousy for you, as fierce as the grave”
Song of Solomon 8:6
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LIGHT AND ITS EFFECT ON THE BEAST
Scenes from the Gospel of John
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As a young believer, I was told; “read the book of John first, it’s the Gospel of LOVE”. Instead, I started at Genesis and in a straight line march through, soon recognized that the entire Bible told a story of Superior Love on every page. Therefore, upon finally arriving at the Book of John,  I was expecting an explosion, a culminating firework display of good feelings and tenderness. I found instead that “love” while not absent, was not my biggest impression.
It takes me longer to read this book than the others in the Bible. I am often paralyzed for long moments by the discourses of Jesus. The startling things He says about Himself, coupled with the forceful way He says them. I read the verses more than once; slowly mouthing the words to be sure I understand them correctly. John’s Jesus is bold, fearless, unambiguous, confrontational, provocative. He is not discreet. He does not whisper. He speaks with a tongue of fire that flushes blood to the cheeks of all who hear. I tremble and fear tightens my throat.
This is Warrior. King. God.
It is clear that the Creator of the Universe is speaking, and I am to give Him my complete attention. Unblinking, He looks me in the eye and firmly states; “If you do not believe that I Am He, you will die in your sins.” He does not plead or cajole.
He warns. Make no mistake. I AM the ONLY way.
His sure tone produces two emotions in me.
The first one is deep, deep fear. He is positively sure of what He says.
The second one is deep, deep relief. He is positively sure of what He says.
As created being I am terrified of separation from my Creator. At the same time I cannot fully surrender to His Hand, unless I am convinced that my Master is not only absolutely strong, but also absolutely sure.
Thank you Father, for writing the book of John for me.
Ah yes, I see it now.
Love.
Startled by the Snarling
I turned to see
And in the Mirror
The Beast was me.
Lotis Melisande
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